Phillips just said that Soriano doesn't belong in the lead-off spot, so he clearly has been a loyal reader of my musings. There's no way that dip-shit could have come up with this theory on his own. Furthermore, Reed Johnson has 90 at-bats and taken 88 first pitches. If Soriano bats lead-off tomorrow I will shit a telephone pole, which, ironically, is what Soriano uses for a bat.
One more thing, Soriano is still contending that the hop didn't cause the injury. Alfonso, shut the fuck up. Don't say stupid shit like that. It makes you sound like an idiot. It would be like Grammatica saying, "what? Oh no, I hurt me knee on the follow-through of that kick. Yeah, I celebrate with my right leg."
Isn't it awesome to play against a Jason Kendall team?
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