Monday, March 31, 2008

Breaking news out of Bloomington!!

It's raining. Again. Hard. It rains every day. Every single day. Even when it's sunny, it will rain. And when it starts, it never stops. Isn't that awesome?

I bet you thought the breaking news was about Jordan Crawford. It's not. I know nothing. Though I go to IU, and there are apparently rumors all over this joint, no one in the J-School knows shit. There's a kid that works for the paper that runs an IU basketball blog, and he's been pretty spot-on, and he's said nothing about Crawford. His blog is down right now, though, for whatever reason.

Baseball is officially back in America, where it belongs! Take that, Japan! Yeah, your country's lame.

The Cubs and Reds both play at 2:20, with the Cubs on ESPN2 and WGN, and the Reds on RAYCOM. That's not true, but the Reds suck.

Good news! The fat guy next to me has zero clue how to disable his sound, or he doesn't care that I don't give a shit about these stupid videos he's watching. He's also breathing heavily; he might be having a heart attack, and that's nothing to joke about.

Four #1's in the Final 4, eh? Pretty neat. I guess I'll go with everyone else and pick UCLA. I think, since Wooden is on his last leg, the NCAA has decreed that UCLA not lose another game. Also, have you seen the Kevin Love full-court shot. If you have a pulse, the answer is 'yes,' because it has been on TV a trillion times. It's amazing.

Tomorrow's April Fool's Day. Don't believe a goddamn word anyone says to you. It's all bullshit!

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Baseball begins tonight!

America's game begins tonight with the age-old, American as apple pie rivalry, the Washington Nationals against the Atlanta Braves. I understand this game is kicking off the season because Dubya is throwing out the first pitch, but wow, what a shitty game.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Cubs 2008 Preview: zoinks, yo

I can't find an accurate line-up projection for this year's Cubs, but I have a decent guess. I'm in the mind of Piniella, if only I could be in his pants. Whoops...

1. Ryan Theriot, SS
I know for a fact that Soriano will no longer be rockin' solo bombs, as Theriot has been moved to the top. Apparently, Lou finally realized that run production is fairly important, and batting your best HR and RBI guy leadoff is ludicrous. Almost as bad as, say, batting Adam Dunn leadoff. Oh, how I long for the days of Dave Miley...or was it Narron? Either way, Theriot at the top is the way to go.

2. Alfonso Soriano, LF
I guess this isn't as bad as batting him leadoff, but can we just bump him down to 3rd? Throw Pie or DeRosa up here, it doesn't matter. Soriano will get his at-bats; no need to bat him second.

3. Derrek Lee, 1B
You know what you want in your three hole? A guy that completely whiffs on fastballs. How many times did he come up with runners in scoring position and whiff? He can hit, but I think he'd be better in the five. However, he batted .317 last season, but I believe my theory of him only getting hits in meaningless at-bats to be accurate.

4. Aramis Ramirez, 3B
Easily, the best hitter on the team. If he would lose his little attitude and play an entire season, he could be an NL MVP candidate. He's clutch, and he doesn't strike out often. He is the antithesis of Lee; of everyone on the team, he's who I would want batting in crunch time.

5. Kusoke Fukudome, RF
I guess I could do what everyone else is doing and make up shit about this guy, because really, we know nothing about him. Is he the next Ichiro? Kaz Matsui? Shinjo? I'll just say he has blazing speed, a rocket for an arm, incredible power, and anal warts. Hey, who knows?

6. Mark DeRosa, 2B
It gets a little choppy through here. DeRosa showed flashes of mediocrity last season, hopefully after his near-death experience he can build on that. He had a blog about the playoffs last year, and he took that whiff against the D-Backs pretty hard. Do you think Piniella pulled a Pitino and made him watch it on loop, ala Edgar Sosa?

7. Felix Pie, CF
He's fast. Unfortunately, contact is not a strength of his. If he's not careful, Reed Johnson will be our everyday CF. Yikes. At least it won't be Murton, who has been booted to Iowa.

8. Geovany Soto
Uh, putting all our eggs in one basket, I suppose. This guy better pan-out, because all we have other than him is Blanco.

Our staff is pretty solid (nice!), especially now that Lieber is there to get us out on get-away day in 2 hours flat. As long as Lilly doesn't turn into, well, Ted Lilly, we should be OK. Marquis sucks.

How 'bout dem Cay-ards, eh? Tomorrow's game shall be a classic. Maybe I'll get a Reds preview before long...They suck.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Spring baseball. 1PM. ESPN.

I can guarantee that exactly zero people have texted this message to a friend. I'm all for spring training baseball, but really, are people going to watch this? I'd rather ESPN show another pre-draft show, outlining why Darren McFadden's character matters. They really should show Cheap Seats, instead. I'm waiting for that discontinued show to blow up.

As I said, I love spring baseball. I really want to go sometime. People describe spring games like visits to a horse park:

"They come right up to the fence! It's unbelievable. You can touch 'em and everything!

Warning: story about my personal life.

I'm going to be borderline racist and say that Asian people do not understand centripetal force. Also, they are in a big damn hurry all the time. These two factors combine for bus-ride hilarity. Today, in a major rush to reach the crowded bus, an young fellow of Asian descent sprinted, fucking sprinted, to the waiting bus. Since it was crowded, there were no available seats. No big deal, you just have to stand and hang on to those rails above your head. Not this guy. He just stood in the aisle. Everyone kind of looked at him, and as the bus fired forward he stumbled backwards onto someone's lap. It was awesome.

I wouldn't write a statement such as "Asian people don't understand centripetal force" if it hadn't happened more than once. It has. Normally, though, no one falls; they just stumble a little bit before realizing they need to hang onto something.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

2 weeks to grow, nothing to show

I've been away from this site for a couple of weeks, so I guess I should let you know what I've been up to.


I always forget to update this blog, and by the time I remember it's too late. I promise to do better in the future. Don't give up on me!

In case you're wondering, my fantasy baseball team is stacked. I don't think anyone else pre-drafted pitchers. If they had, I wouldn't have a stable of hurlers similar to the Atlanta Braves, circa 1992.

IU has the most delusional fan-base in the universe. The names that I hear kids throwing around on campus are absolutely hilarious.

I think the best possibility would be Bruce Pearl, but every game he wins at UT cements his spot in Knoxville a little bit more.

The Pitino talk will not go away. One of my teachers even mentioned it. They truly think IU is the best job in the country. It's cute, in a way.

Baseball is here! This blog will definitely pick up, as I'll need a place to vent about Derrek Lee swinging through fastballs.

I'll post tomorrow.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

It's time for DP

Not that DP, sickos. I'm talking about David Padgett, and I'm ready to praise him.

Normally, this space is reserved for irrational attacks on UL players, but not today. I've always liked David Padgett, if for no other reason than his protruding vein. Yesterday, he was named a first-team all Big East-er, and he deserves it more than anyone.

It's painfully obvious that UL's team IQ jumps about 80 points when he plays, and I'm really glad that didn't go unnoticed. I think people fall in love with athletes who have awesome dunks, and guys like Padgett are afterthoughts. The importance of knowing the game is always overlooked, especially by recruiting gurus. Padgett, more than anyone I've seen at UL, knows how to play.

This isn't necessarily a knock on UL, but they've always had great athletes, just not guys who knew how to play. With Padgett, this current group of super-athletes can be harnessed into a cohesive unit that doesn't rely on jacking threes every possession. Still, he doesn't get as many shots as he should. You can only ask for so much, I guess.

Regardless, I'm really happy for him. He's had so many shitty injuries in his career, after entering Kansas with a world of promise. It's good to see a deserving player get recognized for his achievements. I say deserving because, and I mean this, if I had to choose between Padgett and Psycho D, I choose Padgett. Hansbrough makes garbage shots, but Padgett makes his entire team exponentially better. There's really no way to judge his talent; it lies within the successes of his teammates. His line is often unimpressive, unless UL needs points from him, and he goes for 25.

He's the ultimate team player, and I'm super happy that he'll finally be out of UL. I've been secretly jealous of them for the last couple of years, especially having to watch Woo clang around in the post.

Anyway, next time I see DP at Molly's staring at the floor, I'll give him a high-five.

I won't ruin the niceties above by ranting about T-Will being 2nd team. Basically, do it yourself. Read all the nice things I say, and reverse them.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Wow, IU

A loyal reader to the blog sent me a link to IU's rivals page. Usually, these types of links are to threads with cool dunks or naked chicks, but this one was different. This link shared a story that outlined the possibility of Rick Pitino going to IU.

At first, I thought it was completely ridiculous. After reading into it a bit more, it's only ridiculous.

Pitino is not going to leave UL; however, the situation is an interesting one. The same loyal reader (OK, it was A-Train) also mentioned IU's interest in Jurich. There's no doubt that the Hoosiers will be cleaning house this summer, is it possible for them to swing the Jurich/Pitino exacta? In a couple of words, no fucking way.

Again, though, it must be considered that IU will go to any length to return themselves to basketball prominence. They will offer these two more money than UL, whether the way they get paid is legal or not.

In the end, though, I think this will be the last time anything is written (by a media member) about this possibility.

You can rest, Ca-yard fans.

Friday, March 7, 2008

Ben Howland is an asshole

If you didn't see the final seconds of the Stanford-UCLA game, go to YouTube or something and watch.

First of all, while UCLA was coming back, they got some pretty questionable foul calls to go their way. Plus, Kevin Love did a drop step that spanned about 12 feet. However, the foul called against Stanford on Collison was complete nonsense. Whatever, these things happen.

After the game, though, Howland started spouting complete bullshit. First he said that his team 'always found a way to win.' Which is crap because they were handed this game. Then, he starts babbling about the PAC-10 being the best conference in basketball, as well as having the best PAC-10 season ever.


People should stop interviewing coaches after emotional wins. They just say ridiculous stuff.

I don't want to be that guy, but Georgetown sucks. Louisville will destroy them tomorrow, and they may end up a 2-seed. I think a 1 is a little much, because Duke, UNC, UCLA, and Memphis have a better case. Also, if UT somehow wins the SEC tourney, tehy'll get one. But they won't, because they're garbage.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Steve Stone=Traitor

Stoney has betrayed us.

According to a website that I can't remember, the ex-pitcher has taken the job as the radio announcer for the Chicago White Sox. This is bad enough; however, could he not throw his weight around and get those two bungholes off WGN?

When I first read that Stoney was returning to Chicago, I must admit I was excited at the prospect of Brenly being off the air. I think Kasper is solid; Brenly, however, tells really unfunny stories about his playing days.

Well, I was catching a game in St. Louis, and it was hot. I mean, HOT. After about the eighth inning, I looked at the umpire and said, 'hot enough for ya?' He just shook his head. He was hot too!

Thanks, Bob!

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

My first NCAA violation!

Hooray! I broke my NCAA violation cherry! Huzzah!

Apparently, interviewing recruits when not part of a major news organization is a compliance issue. Who knew? The Deuce interview was up for almost 48 hours, and yesterday we (although he only addressed Beisner) got an email from Matt Jones, who informed us that this was a violation. I didn't believe him, and took this as a weak attempt at destroying our website empire. However, I spoke with UK's compliance office this morning, and, sure enough, it's a violation. I think Jones sensationalized it a bit, saying that "UK could get in big trouble," but it's a violation no less. He was all over it. So, thanks. We would've never known.

The compliance man was very friendly, though, and he explained the reasons to me. If you recall the MySpace situation, where UK fans and the like would contact recruits and act like a-holes, trying to get them to come to UK. According to the rule, any association to a school makes you a Booster, even if you do not financially boost anyone. So, our interview with Deuce, though all info and little UK-persuasion, was illegal. So, it's gone. There will be no more recruit interviews, but we will talk w/ current and former UK athletes. Jules Camara is next.

For now, I'm going to lay low.

I'm not, actually.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Um, yeah, I've been busy

Sorry it has been so long. I truly want to continue posting here, mostly for my non-UK brethren. But, with the advent of the new site and UL's success, it has been tough.

First of all, however much you may hate UK, the Blitz doesn't only have UK-related material. If you go there and see a UK story, feel free to leave. There will always be other content.

Anyway, UL looks scary good again. I guess I'll be the 12,986th person to say how reminiscent they are of the '05 Cards, but don't they remind you of the '05 Cards? Look for Pitino to throw the game against G-town this weekend, so the Cards don't run out of steam.

Sportscenter will certainly take a hit with the recent Brett Favre retirement. As much as ESPN loves subjective lists, the one thing they like more is fellating Brett Favre. If you go to the Blitz, you'll see more on this topic. Tease!

In other news, Tim Kurkjian thinks Kobe is better than LeBron. Mark Schlereth weighed-in as well on the Kobe/LeBron debate, but he's too stupid for anyone to listen to him. However, I do wonder what Schlereth would say about Felix Pie's testicles. Apparently, poor Felix got his nuts all twisted up and had to sit out a few games. That's unfortunate.

So, again, apologies for my lack of posting recently. I'll try and get something up every weekday, like I used to. But don't hate, Get Blitzed.