Monday, June 30, 2008

See, you lazy asses

It's not easy to come up with some bullshit to write about everyday.

Thanks, Blazin-Caucasian, but HG and I respectfully decline your idea of arguing children's novels. I guess it will probably be best to begin by venturing into that shithole in Bloomington, because HG is a big, douch-ey, IU fan. I don't know. I guess one side (me) could argue that the job sucks, with HG providing a worthless and wrong counter-argument. Here, let me text him...


Nothing yet...


Well, I'm sure he's OK with that. He, like the 10 billion d-bags (and Asians) in Bloomington, probably thought that Pitino would actually come to IU. Actually, I doubt HG thought that. But all the other assholes did!

OK, I'll have my installment up in the next 4-88 hours. Just keep hitting refresh!

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Goodbye Greenspan

This post is somewhat overdue, especially because of my previous post ripping Rick Greenspan. However, the post was not as overdue as his resignation. The Indiana AD responsible for the worst (Kelvin Sampson) and potentially best (Tom Crean) hirings in the history of IU athletics has said his goodbyes (although I guess he will say them again when he officially steps down in December) and announced his resignation on Thursday.

I know what you are asking, do I feel like my post explaining his wrongdoings as the head of the Hoosier athletic department led to his resignation? Of course not. Yes, I am sure it had an impact and I think Greenspan and the IU administration are avid readers of Rantastic (especially the long lived Hoosier Gamecock Era), but I think this resignation was inevitable to happen before the Hoosiers hit the hardwood again in October.

The resignation comes on the heels of an additional Failure to Monitor charge by the NCAA towards Greenspan and the IU compliance department. Hopefully the fact that both Sampson and Greenspan are now gone from Bloomington will help IU avoid punishments so severe that Crean has no chance to succeed. The situation is already bleak, but numerous years of probation/scholarship restrictions may mean Crean is not around to see this thing through, and who could blame him if he ran and hid.

Yes, the rumors are true, my name has been tossed around as a possible replacement for Greenspan. I knew I would have my dream job someday, I just didnt know it would be so soon. I have worked hard though in my two years working in Division II athletics, and by December I will be midway through a master's program to get my degree in Intercollegiate Athletics Administration. It seems to me I am perfectly qualified to lead an athletic department in the Big Ten.

NBA Draft Thoughts:
- IU's Eric Gordon was selected seventh in the Draft, becoming the next player to average 20 points and lead the Clippers to the basement in the NBA's Pacific Division, joining the likes of Danny Manning, Ron Harper, Lamar Odom, Elton Brand, and Corey Maggete. Poor guy, I thought he had a chance to be something special in the league, but not with that franchise.
- WKU's and Indiana native Courtney Lee went 22nd to the Magic. On a team with Dwight Howard, Rashard Lewis, Hedo Turkoglu, Darko, and Jameer Nelson, Lee could find a niche and be a nice piece on an up and coming Eastern Conference contender.
- IU's D.J. White, picked 29th by Detroit and traded to Seattle, went to a young team with a chance to improve tremendously in the next few years, although probably not in the Pacific NW. If he continues to focus on defense and rebounding (and stay injury free) like he did in a solid senior season as the Big Ten Player of the Year, White will be a role player in the NBA for a decade or so.
- UK's Joe Crawford went 58th to the Lakers. With no guaranteed contracts issued to second round picks, do not expect Crawford to be getting torched by Kobe for too long in Lakers' training camp. I wish him luck, but his best bet will probably be to land on another squad.
- Not a Pacers' fan, but they had a good draft by trading for a solid point guard in T.J. Ford and drafting two experienced college players in Brandon Rush and Roy Hibbert. They still lack a superstar and legitimate scorer (sorry Mike Dunleavy), but I look for them to be a lower seeded playoff team in the East next season.

Friday, June 27, 2008


I have an internship with a newspaper blah blah blah. I am covering a minor league baseball team this week, and I'm at the game. Of course, since I'm major bad-ass big time, I have a parking pass. As I pulled into the lot, I failed to realize that my pass wasn't in my wind-shield. No big deal.

I wasn't really paying attention, though. So, the African-American woman working the lot walked over, and leaned in to ask me to show her the pass. Unfortunately, I couldn't hear her, because I was straight mother-fucking BOPPING this song:

Enjoy. The video rocks, too.

p.s. Hopefully, we'll have a raging debate soon. Thanks to da Blazin' Caucasian, we have some ideas. Please read the comments of the post below.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Site announcement!!!!!1!!!11!!!one!!!!ONE!!!1

So, I've seen that the two people who read this blog have taken quite a liking to the new guy. He's kind of a douche, though. However, with his arrival comes a new little feature. A feature, I guess.

First, the backstory. When Hoosier Gamecock and I were in college together, we used to get drunk. A lot. Anyway, when we were drunk, we'd argue. A lot. In most cases, I was right because I was louder. Plus, I'd give up and start making fun of him if I was wrong. That's just Argumentation 101.

After landing a lucrative gig at The Cento, I began writing columns for that piece of shit. Seriously, it was the worst thing I've ever read--except my column and Picken Your Brain. Oh man, Picken Your Brain rocked so hard. I mean, my columns actually kind of sucked. One was about the man-crush I had on J.J. Redick; one was about fast-food commercials; I don't remember what else...They were basically non-sensical inside jokes that no one got. Towards the end of my run as columnist, Hoosier Gamecock and I had an idea. Because PTI was the shit, we thought we'd rip them off and do Pardon the Ignorance. See what we did there with the wording? Basically, we'd get drunk at like 2PM, pick a topic, and argue it while Rose typed up all the crap we said. It was fierce.

Thus, we're going to do that here--sans Rose. One of us will pick a topic, pick a side, and the other will have a retort. I don't see how this can fail! Basically, it will be my arguments w/ ChuckG, only Hoosier Gamecock has posting permission.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Athletic Alumni Threesomes

This post is inspired by a local sports talk radio host somewhere in “The Swamp” country of North Florida. While driving through the area, I listened to an interesting show talking about which college has the best trio of athletic alumni. Before continuing with my thoughts on this topic both regionally (Kentuckiana) and nationally, some ground rules. The rankings are based on both collegiate and professional careers (sorry Tim Couch), advantage is given to trios representing three different sports, athletes from any sport are eligible, and all eras are taken into consideration (with people closer to my generation getting the benefit of the doubt).

We’ll start with the local schools, beginning, of course, with my Hoosiers. After careful perusal of the thousands and thousands of fabulous athletes from Indiana University, I narrowed the list to two definite choices and numerous question marks. Isiah Lord Thomas III (1979-1981). Before ruining both the CBA and the New York Knicks, Thomas was one of the best point guards that ever played. Zeke's resume includes an NCAA championship and Tournament MOP award (’81), two NBA championships (’89, ’90), 12 NBA All-Star games, selection as one of the greatest 50 NBA players of all time (’96), and induction into the Basketball Hall of Fame (’00).

Mark Spitz (1968-72). While not an athlete in a mainstream sport, Spitz is arguably the best swimmer of all-time. His performance in the 1972 Munich Games is one of the greatest individual Olympic performances ever, winning seven gold medals, winning gold in every individual event he entered, and setting new world records in each. All told, Spitz won nine Olympic gold medals, 8 individual NCAA titles, broke 33 world records, and was named World Swimmer of the Year on three occasions.

This is where I thought things would begin to go downhill for Indiana’s list. Trent Green and Antwan Randle El actually become possibilities, and that is not a good thing. The school has an incredible soccer program, but on the world stage none of them have accomplished much. So, we head back to basketball, where Steve Alford, George McGinnis, and Alan Henderson are all options. However, then I was reminded of Calbert Cheaney (1989-1993). Except for not winning a title, there are few with better individual college resumes. In his final three seasons at IU, the Hoosiers went 87-16. He averaged 19.8 points per game for his career and is the Big Ten’s All-Time leading scorer. A three-time All-American, Cheaney won all 12 National Player of the Year awards in 1992-93 after averaging 22.4 ppg and leading IU to a 31-4 record and the number one national ranking. A solid NBA career went downhill after season five, but the lefty still averaged 9.5 points per game in 13 seasons.

Moving on to UK, not surprisingly, you find a list of athletic alums dominated by basketball players. However, in my mind the most famous UK alum is George Blanda (1945-48). The quarterback/placekicker holds or held NFL records for most seasons played (26), most PATs made and attempted, and most points in NFL history (now broken), and holds the distinctions of being the oldest player to play in an NFL game and the only player to play in four decades. Blanda was also elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame (’81).

From here you turn to basketball and Jamal Mashburn (1990-93). Monster Mash was an incredible college player with the Wildcats, with a career average of 18.8 ppg. He helped UK to the Final Four as a junior, averaging 21.0 ppg while being named a First-Team All-American and the SEC Player of the Year. Mashburn left early for the NBA and was drafted fourth by the Mavericks. An NBA All-Star on one occasion, he had a stellar but somewhat injury-plagued 12-year NBA career. Mashburn averaged 19.1 point per game in the NBA, and is one of only six players to have averaged over 20 points per game in his final NBA season.

Like Indiana, Kentucky struggles to pull a third athlete from anywhere other than the hardwood. Maybe one day J.B. Holmes, but for now we look at basketball. Alex “point shavin” Groza, Keith Bogans, Kenny “Sky” Walker, and Tony Delk are all options, but all-time leading scorer Dan Issel (1966-70) rounds out the trio. Issel was a two-time All-American at UK with a career scoring average of 25.7 points per game. He led the ABA in scoring as a rookie for the Kentucky Colonels. Issel was named First-Team All-ABA and All-Star Game MVP in 1972, and in 1975 led the Colonels to the ABA title. Issel also spent 10 seasons in the NBA with the Denver Nuggets and accumulated over 27,000 points in his ABA and NBA careers combined.

Like Indiana and Kentucky, Louisville’s athletic history is also dominated by men’s basketball. However, the most accomplished Cardinal athlete of all-time is Johnny Unitas (1951-54), one of the greatest quarterbacks ever. Despite this claim, Unitas did not have a lot of success while at Louisville. In his four seasons, Louisville went through major roster cuts and struggled to a 12-23 record. Unitas’ greatness came in the professional ranks, where he was a three-time MVP in the NFL. He holds the record for most consecutive games with a TD pass (47), won four NFL championships, and was voted the league’s all-time best player when the NFL celebrated its first 50 years.

Heading to the hardwood, Wes Unseld (1965-68) and Darrell Griffith (1976-80) both earn spots in UL’s best trio. Unseld is the lone Louisville player in the Naismith Basketball Hall of Fame. A Seneca High School grad, Unseld averaged 20.6 points and 18.9 rebounds per game in three years. Unseld had an even better pro career with the Bullets. In his rookie season of 1968-69, Unseld became only the second player ever to win Rookie of the Year and MVP in the same season. Unseld won an NBA championship and was named Finals MVP in 1978. One of the NBA’s 50 Greatest Players, Unseld was inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame in 1988.

Griffith, aka “Dr. Dunkenstein,” led the Cardinals to the NCAA Championship in 1980. Griffith was named the Wooden Player of the Year and a consensus All-American that season as UL went 33-3. Griffith left Louisville as the all-time leading scorer (2,333 points, 18.5 ppg). He averaged 16.2 points per game in 10 seasons in the NBA with the Utah Jazz, who retired his number in 1993. In his first season with the Jazz in 1981, Griffith was named the NBA Rookie of the Year.

My top trios
1. UCLA - Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Jackie Robinson, Troy Aikman (also have Arthur Ashe, Bill Walton, and Jackie Joyner-Kersee to name a few)
2. Stanford - Tiger Woods, John Elway, John McEnroe
3. Ohio State – Jessie Owens, Jack Nicklaus, John Havlicek
4. UNC – Michael Jordan, Lawrence Taylor, Mia Hamm
5. Texas – Roger Clemens, Earl Campbell, Ben Crenshaw
6. Arizona State - Barry Bonds, Phil Mickelson, Reggie Jackson
7. Houston – Carl Lewis, Hakeem Olajuwon, Clyde Drexler
8. USC - Marcus Allen, O.J. Simpson, Mark McGwire
9. Syracuse - Jim Brown, Dave Bing, Larry Csonka
10. Tennessee - Peyton Manning, Bernard King, Reggie White
11. Wake Forest - Arnold Palmer, Tim Duncan, Chris Paul

Other trios
All-Jailhouse: West Virginia - Adam "Pacman" Jones, Bengals' Chris Henry, Bob Huggins
All-Small School: Louisiana Tech - Karl Malone, Terry Bradshaw, NFL Hall of Famer Fred Dean
All-Busts: Utah - Andrew Bogut, Alex Smith, Keith Van Horn
All-Centre College - Coy Zerhusen, Joe Conley, Jed Hilbert

Okay, now add your own threesomes from a different school or tell me why you think mine are wrong...Whose trio do you think is the best among the three local schools? My vote is for Zeke, Spitz, and Calbert of course.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

We get it, Kobe sucks

Yes, yes, he should tell you how your ass tastes. We all bow to you, almighty fat ass Shaq. You are so awesome and Kobe sucks so bad. Would you please stop doing these "look at me" stunts?

Don't sit there and act like, "oh man, me and Kobe is boyz and shit." Look, you couldn't have done it without Kobe or D-Wade. You're not the shit. You were a dominant big man that excelled in the post by bullying people. Good for you. You're like 50 feet tall. Everyone started labelling you the most dominant big man ever, I guess, because they needed to label you something, and you sure as shit weren't the greatest big man ever--or of your own generation. Then you got fat as fuck and joined the police force.

Whatever. Shaq-a-Clause is awesome.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Can we agree on something?

If shitty ol' Ryan Dempster played for the Red Sox, Yankees, or Mets, ESPN and the rest of the sporting world would have their lips tightly fastened around his wang. Dude's 9-2 with an ERA under three (fifth in the majors). Sure he doesn't win on the road, but he is almost unhittable at home.

He has very similar numbers to Edinson Volquez, though Volquez has way more K's. So, I guess Volquez deserves similar kudos to Dumpster.

Yeah, this post is still me being pissed that I hear about Joba Chamberlain's motherfucking progression every day. He has been pitching well, though.

Friday, June 20, 2008

The Most Explosive Player in the NBA Draft is...

Indiana's Eric Gordon, according to's Jay Bilas

After ripping my Hoosiers and their AD last week, I have decided to post something positive about Indiana Basketball. The program has two legit players that are going to get drafted in next week's NBA Draft. This talent is one of the reasons I was so angry with Greenspan, Sampson, Dakich, etc.

Gordon should be a top 10 pick, currently projected to go seventh to the lowly Clippers in Chad Ford's Mock Draft. I have always had some doubts about Gordon, including his size for a 2-guard and his lack of handles, but the kid is strong enough to play in the league and can flat out score. The Hoosiers' D.J. White should go in the late first or early second round.

Notables in Ford's top 100 prospects include: WKU's and Indiana native Courtney Lee (28th), Vandy's Shan Foster (47th), Arkansas' Sonny Weems (55th), UL's David Padgett (58th), WKU's Tyrone Brazelton (68th), Kentucky native and UT's Chris Lofton (80th), my former camp teammate Drew Neitzel (84th) from Mich St., UL's Juan Palacios (99th), and UK's Joe Crawford (100th).

I'm actually a big NBA fan, so you may be treated to more draft coverage next week.

Jeez, hazing the new guy, huh?

You guys are dicks, man!

So, the Blue Jays manager said he didn't want Adam Dunn because he lacked passion. Look, I'm all for making fun of Dunn, but DUDE! Motherfucker gives you so much fodder, and you say you don't want him because he lacks passion--which you made up.

Things you could have said:

I don't want Adam Dunn because...

...I think he might actually be a donkey.

....He whiffs a lot (though he has a helluva OBP).

...He overran second, and was tagged out one time---like Reggie, the Icelandic baseketball player, in an IM softball game at Centre.

...He's an atrocious fielder.

...There's a hole in his swing the size of...well, a giant hole.

Anyway, you get my point. Why was this dude being such an asshole?

Thursday, June 19, 2008

See you in 2009 PGA Tour

I apologize for feeling the way I do, but with the news that Tiger Woods will miss the rest of the season, I will watch 95% less golf for the rest of 2008. If not for the Ryder Cup being this year and at Valhalla, that number would be much closer to 100. I like to play golf, I like to watch golf, I have an interest in golfers other than Tiger, but we have all been spoiled by one of the greatest athletes (yes I think golfers are athletes) ever to live, and now matter how much I try I just don’t really care if he is not playing.

The numbers support that I am not alone in this feeling, TV ratings are substantially higher when he plays, and even higher when he is in contention (which is almost every time he tees it up)…There are a lot of pissed off people at the PGA Tour's headquarters, a lot of pissed off sponsors, and a lot of pissed off people who run golf tournaments around the country. Woods’ absence will directly and indirectly lead to millions and millions of dollars lost for the entire golf industry.

The only hope for me continuing to watch will be a guy like Kentuckian J.B. Holmes, or the young stud Anthony Kim, deciding to seize the opportunity to become golf’s next star. I just do not see it happening. I promise you this, the better Phil plays, the less I will watch. I can’t deal with his cheesy smile, man boobs, and inability to play well when Tiger is in the field, and then watch him win tournaments just because Woods is hurt.

Other golf notes:
1). For those of you who believe every pro athlete is just in it for money and for the pro athletes that are just in it for the money (a number I believe is much smaller than people think), Tiger Woods set a great example. One of the richest athletes in the world decided to play through the pain, while grimacing but not complaining, the whole time risking potentially career-threatening injuries and losing out on millions and millions of dollars the rest of this season, and possibly beyond. He treated us all, golf fans or not, to one of the best sporting events of all time, certainly the best golf tournament of my life (and yes I know all about the PGA at Valhalla). The man is just that competitive, the thought of missing a major was so unbearable, that he said no to the doctors and played through the pain. It meant we do not get to watch him for the rest of this season, maybe longer, but for five days and 91 holes, we were hooked to the TV watching history.

2). I do not like the lovable losers. If you know me you have heard me admit, my favorite teams are those that were good when I was 10 years old - MJ’s Bulls, the Cowboys’ Dynasty, Charlie Ward and FSU football (I hate to admit that one), the Yankees, and of course Tiger Woods. Not the Jazz, not the Cubs, and certainly not Phil Mickelson.

With that said, Rocco Mediate became a hero of mine on Sunday and Monday. Maybe it is because he is a 45-year old with nothing to lose, but he played with no fear, he took Woods to the brink of defeat, and he actually had fun doing it. If Mickelson had ended up in the playoff against Woods, he would have pissed himself on the opening tee and lost by six strokes.

3). In the last 37 events Tiger has played on the PGA Tour, he has 19 wins, the field has 18. (Tiger 4, Field 2 in 2008)

4). In his 236 career starts, Tiger has finished in the top three 106 times, including 65 wins.

I am a long-winded blogger, it is a problem I have, but I am working on it...Until then, deal with my ramblings.


There's a chance that Lou gets it:

"Until we get Soriano back in the lineup, we'll keep him (Fukudome) right in the 1 hole," manager Lou Piniella said. "He has patience, good on-base percentage, a good arm. I don't really want to play around with the leadoff spot too much."
Wait, maybe not. Shit. OK, let's see. I don't really understand. Clearly, he understand what makes a good leadoff hitter: patience, good OBP, good...arm? What the fuck? I guess that's what makes Johnny Damon a great leadoff hitter, too. Anyway, Soriano has zero patience and a bad OBP. Fukudome is 9th in the league and second on the team behind Ramirez.

It's only taken a Soriano broken wrist, Eric Patterson, Reed Johnson, and Ryan Theriot failing before Fukudome was put there. However, maybe you can see why:

Fukudome said though his interpreter he didn't remember the last time he led off in Japan and that he did not plan on changing his approach. Asked if it was a challenge he relished, Fukudome replied in English, "No."

"Ask me about batting orders, and you're not going to get the answers you want," he said.
What the hell does that statement in bold mean? Yikes. I guess he's said some creepy shit like that to Lou, forcing him to stay away from the top.

Here's hoping this works and Soriano and his telephone pole moves to third or fourth or sixth or something. Is it still out of the question to trade him?

Monday, June 16, 2008

Damn it

Higgie (whoever that is!) makes a good point.

Perhaps I'll address it in the future. Or, T-Dubs could. Either way, read the comments. Good stuff.

And seri-fucking-ously: could Gary Miller and Paul Bako look anymore alike?! First Harang and Chris Griffin; then Valentin and Turtle; now this!


You may see a post from Hoosier Gamecock very soon.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Please, please, please

Oh God, please happen.

To be fair...

All you losers would shit your pants. It would be a good situation; it's about time for Jr. to rock bombs as a DH.

Saturday, June 14, 2008


I know you tools are watching the Reds game right now, so tell me something. If you saw Brandon Phillips reciting the Reds' lineup, you would have heard him say the first and last name of each player, their batting spot, and their position. Well, except one.

Phillips: ...batting seventh, playing first, Joey Votto...batting 8th, behind the plate...Bako...

There's no question that Brandon Phillips has no fucking clue what Paul Bako's first name is. I can guarantee, w/ 75% certainty, that when Bako entered the clubhouse for the first time, Brandon Phillips asked why Gary Miller was around.


Friday, June 13, 2008

The Jim Edmonds HR will never, ever fucking be on Sportscenter

I like sports. I think they are fun and cool. The sports team I like the most right now is the Cubs. Last night, Jim Edmonds' old ass hit a HR to tie the game, which we won in 11. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

Yesterday, the U.S. Open started. I like golf. It's OK to watch if I'm hungover or at Chick Inn drinking bourbon. Tiger Woods is my favorite golfing man.

The NBA Finals were played last night. I don't really like the NBA, but boy, that game was exciting! The Celtics were getting killed and came back and won!

Anyway, I realize that other sports are happening and shit, but do we have to go to the live press conference the moment the game ends? I thought that was just on ESPNNews. What's wrong with editing down the press conference to something only kinda awfully boring? Look, I know it was huge and awesome, but watching Wilbon, Stu, and the others struggle to say something fucking different from one another is PAINFUL. Please, other sports are happening.

Oh, and Andy North, you smug fuck, no one gives a shit where the pins are placed, except the players, and they already know.

It was absolutely pointless to watch SC last night. A-nal-y-sis!

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

I'm adding a blogger

It's not Beisner. It's an IU fan. Hopefully he'll have his name and account soon. Here's his first post:

"(Crawford's) departure leaves IU with one returning scholarship player,senior forward Kyle Taber, walk-on Brett Finkelmeier and freshman recruits."- Terry Hutchens,

As an Indiana fan, this is a sad sentence to have to read. Seriously, one returning scholarship player on a Big Ten basketball team. Things have to be pretty bad for a coach as good as Tom Crean to have one returning player.Such is the sad state of affairs at Indiana University. A program whichused to be one of the nation's traditional powerhouses would have a hardtime competing next year in the IHSAA State Tournament.

Who is to blame for this mess? Kelvin Sampson, right? No. Dan Dakich, right?No. The players bailing on IU, right? Wrong. Indiana AD Rick Greenspan is toblame. Why the hell does he still have a job?

Let us run down the list of Greenspan's blunders:

1. Hiring Kelvin Sampson after he was cited for numerous NCAA recruitingviolations. It is Indiana, you do not have to take risks like this. Maybeat a mid-major you take that risk. Not at Indiana.

2. Following Fuck-up #1, maybe you should sit down and have a talk with yournew coach. Tell him he is under no circumstance allowed to use his phonelike a 16-year old girl. Maybe have your compliance people look after himand tell him to put the fucking phone down. OMG, I am surprised Sampsonhasn't been hired by AllTel yet to appear in a Fav 5 ad with D-Wade and SirCharles.

3. After he was caught again at Indiana, let him coach for awhile longer.Tell him to get his team into the top-10, make a run at the Big 10 title,and then, with less than 10 games left in the season, force him to resignand create a media frenzy, giving the most talented IU roster in the past decade Zero chance to salvage anything out of a promising season.

4. Hire Dan Dakich as interim coach even though every player would ratherhave Ray MacCullum on the bench. While this has mostly gone unnoticed, this may be Greenspan's biggest Fuck-up. Neither of these men were going to geta chance to stay on as coach for 2008-09, so why does this matter? Itproved to the IU players that Greenspan and the administration did not careabout them. So they stopped caring about Indiana Basketball: they boycotted Dakich's first practice, played the rest of the season with no heart, got bounced in the first round of the NCAA Tournament, and left the school.They all left.

But, for some reason Greenspan stays, telling his first-year coach, "Here you go Tom, prove how good of a coach you are, build the Indiana Hoosiers around Kyle Taber." Yeah, thanks for the job, Rick.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Hey, have you heard about Joba Chamberlain?

Apparently, there's this really dynamic pitcher playing for the NY American League baseball squad. His name is Joba Chamberlain, and he's a real piece of work. You see, Joba started in the bullpen, but now he is transitioning to a starter. It's a BIG deal.

[end of sarcastic segment]

My contention is as follows: who gives a fuck? If this ass-eater played for the Blue Jays or something, no one would care. At all. Instead, we hear every damn day about his progression, his new pitch count, his shitty line, and the disgusting events in Cleveland with all the bugs. There are essentially ten tribillion reasons why this is a complete non-story, but I'm only going to speak about a couple.

First of all, assholes, Joba is not the first person to make this move. In fact, one plays for my favorite team and has made this transition quite successfully.

Ryan Dempster, normally a completely worthless piece of shit, is 7-2 with 2.90 ERA this season. Last year for the Cubs, Dempster was the closer and in the offseason, the Cubs decided to condition Dempster to move to the rotation. The Yankees, like dipshits, are forcing Joba to make this difficult move mid-season. Bat. Shit. Crazy. As a player from one of Joba's first opponent's as a starter said (I can't remember who), "when you're facing a guy that you, as a hitter, know is on a pitch count, you just make him throw" (not a direct quote from the unnamed player).

My other problem: Joba Chamberlain, at worst, is very mediocre. I realize he has only started two games, but he was crowned as this badass after 24 innings last season. He hasn't done well in his two starts, but he could certainly turn it around and blah blah be kinda good. Still, kinda good might be the top of the ladder for this guy. He should have never been moved out of the pen.

Sorry for the lack of posts lately...I'll pick it up...

Monday, June 2, 2008

Jay Bruce is sooooooooo good!!!!1!!11!!1!!

I told you about the dude who wrote the article saying that Rich Brooks was the worst coach in the SEC. I decided to post about that at KSR. Here. Guy's a cockring.

I am literally foaming at the mouth in anticipation of Jay Bruce's swift and eventual downfall. Oh man, I love nothing more than Reds fans being excited over a player, and than said player blowing. It's coming. It's almost here!!!

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Holy boobs

So, I leave for the week and the Cubs have the best record in baseball? Sweeeeeet.

More importantly, did anyone see the juggy broad run off the field before the game? They must have been doing the thing where a person takes the field with the player, and this chick ran off the field from what looked to be right. Anyway, the camera stayed on her for the entire time she was exiting, and her titties were EVERYWHERE! It was awesome.

Oh, apparently I also missed some gigantic comeback. Oh well.

p.s. some ass-mouth named Rich Brooks the 12th best coach in the SEC. More on that later.

edit: Yeah so, Soriano can't catch. At all. Yeah, I know he gunned Helton at 2nd (who would've been safe had he just slid all the way to the base), but why can't he catch?