Spring baseball. 1PM. ESPN.

I can guarantee that exactly zero people have texted this message to a friend. I'm all for spring training baseball, but really, are people going to watch this? I'd rather ESPN show another pre-draft show, outlining why Darren McFadden's character matters. They really should show Cheap Seats, instead. I'm waiting for that discontinued show to blow up.

As I said, I love spring baseball. I really want to go sometime. People describe spring games like visits to a horse park:

"They come right up to the fence! It's unbelievable. You can touch 'em and everything!

Warning: story about my personal life.

I'm going to be borderline racist and say that Asian people do not understand centripetal force. Also, they are in a big damn hurry all the time. These two factors combine for bus-ride hilarity. Today, in a major rush to reach the crowded bus, an young fellow of Asian descent sprinted, fucking sprinted, to the waiting bus. Since it was crowded, there were no available seats. No big deal, you just have to stand and hang on to those rails above your head. Not this guy. He just stood in the aisle. Everyone kind of looked at him, and as the bus fired forward he stumbled backwards onto someone's lap. It was awesome.

I wouldn't write a statement such as "Asian people don't understand centripetal force" if it hadn't happened more than once. It has. Normally, though, no one falls; they just stumble a little bit before realizing they need to hang onto something.