My Shitlist - September 19, 2007

Ever so often, there are a couple of people who either say, do, or audibly think something stupid. Normally it's one of these two d-bags http://www.xtrasports790.com/pages/afternoonunderdogs.html. Today, however, two other totally unrelated people crept into the picture.

First, the fat woman I work with. Fat people in general are difficult for most to handle anyway, with their odor and constant wheezing, but the woman who is some sort of secretary in my office really pissed me off today. For those of you who don't know, I am the assistant of like 25 Marketing professors. Now, they are a shifty bunch. Anyway, my duties include blogging/sending constant emails, reading KSR, TCP, ITV, ESPN, Sportspickle, and numerous other websites about 30 times a day, as well as the student newspaper and crossword puzzles. I also make copies, proofread, proctor, and deal with idiot students a fair amount (about an average of 14 minutes a week). On Monday of this week, fatty decided to up the ante a bit. She (an idiot who has worked here for over 15 years) asked me to send 6 seperate FedEx packages to professors all over the nation. I (who will have worked here a month tomorrow) thought that it was odd since my job was to send FedEx packages for professors, not fat secretaries. Anyway, I dodged asking the obvious, "why can't you do this?" and simply did what she needed. Today, I get a frantic email with a flaming red exclamation point asking me where these packages were and if I could find their tracking numbers. I did so and told her that the one to Houston, 1500 miles away, probably won't arrive until Friday. Then comes the most frantic and expletive-riddled phone call I've ever received. "What am I going to do?! Those all needed to get to the professors Tuesday! It's for a competition (nerds)!!!" I was like, "I mean, I sent them ground, not overnight." So the dust settles and I send her an apology email saying that I didn't know the packages were urgent and I'm sorry I didn't ask. Her reply is this bitchy retort: Please note…my e-mail noted (redundant much) “Delivery Tomorrow”. I looked at her old email that she had forwarded me, expecting to be greatly disappointed in my error, and saw this:

Evan,

Here are the addresses for the FedEx packages. Please schedule these for deliver tomorrow. These should be charged to the Center for Global Sales Leadership Account #.

Is there anything else that you need??

I’ll bring the packets down in a few minutes.

(It took her literally three hours do bring the packages down. Three hours. Three.)

Can someone explain to me what the shit "for deliver tomorrow" means. That sentence is 1) retarded, 2) broken english, 3) grammatically incorrect, and 4) unclear. Even if it said for delivery tomorrow I would've assumed that meant that they should be ready for delivery, a.k.a shipped (which is what I thought). I don't understand, if these packages were so urgent, why didn't she say, "these are urgent. Get them there tomorrow" or "overnight these" or "send these next-day" or "man, I should really lose weight and change my horrible early-nineties haircut" or "maybe I should learn how to FedEx, with it being my job and all" or "can you hear my fat ass stomping around upstairs? Because you should be able to" or "why am I so worthless" or "do you think Rebecca is kinda hot? I mean she's old, but, ya know what I mean" or "maybe I shouldn't bother you with my work, but" or "don't take this personally. I'm just taking my fat aggression out on you." She didn't say any of these things.


The funny thing is, I don't give two shits about these packages. I don't care who wins the "Nerd Bowl" this year. I hope no one from my work reads this...

Next, is this douche: http://louisville.rivals.com/rfFan.asp?User=4003&Post=. That's Howie Lindsey. This tool said that UK and Ole Miss were the same caliber team and that the only reason this loss was big to UL was because of the rivarly with UK. That's retarded, Howie. Ole Miss, is 1-2 with losses to Vandy and Missouri and a win over Memphis. They are a not terrible team. Kentucky beat a top ten team and two others. They are also ranked. I'm not sure what Howie's motives are here; perhaps he's just such a douche that shit like this just falls from his mouth. He probably doesn't want to give UK cradit for being good because he's pissed UL lost and can't win the championship anymore. It's people like this turd that gives UL fans a bad name. All this does is make you guys look sour, jealous, and stupid; which many are not any of these. I don't know why people open their mouths sometimes.

Both of these situations have one thing in common (also the "Underdogs"). How do these people get jobs? They seem so incompetent and stupid yet they have jobs that many people want. The "Underdogs" baffle me with their bias towards the Cards and their stupidity concerning all sports. They have zero talent and they aren't even knowledgeable about anything.

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