To be fair, I know that in the big picture what dick wad #1 did was no where near as bad as what dick wad #2 did, but the funny thing is if you listened to interviews with the other players on the team at the end of last year, though they condemned Vick's actions, they would not indict his character. Petrino on the other hand. Can you imagine, forever being associated with a herpes spreading, bad alias using, drug smuggling (the water bottle incident), dog fighting, scum bag all because you are such a pussy that you can't even fulfil your obligations to people who take a chance and put their faith in you for one year? But I digress, the point is, beyond these two no longer being a distraction, there's nothing good to say about the Falcons this year.
The Bad: Everything else. When I look at their roster I feel like they guy in Major League when he's handed a list of guys the Indians will be inviting to camp: I've never heard of half of these guys, and the ones I do know are way past their prime. . .I don't even know where to begin with this, so I'll start with the defense which finished in the bottom four in the league last year in the following: sacks, yards allowed, points, and touchdowns. The best part of all this is that they lost their best defensive player (DeAngelo Hall) so look for them to fall to the bottom four in takeaways this year as well. The other side of the ball doesn't look a whole lot better. Yeah, they got their guy when Matt Ryan fell to them (more on that in a minute) but he won't be ready to go at the start of the season which leaves them with Chris Redman. Redman was quite mediocre last year, which was a stunning improvement over his performances prior to that. They did bring in Michael Turner from LaDainian Tomlinson's shadow, but he won't have anywhere to run behind that line. Much like on defense they let their best offensive player (Alge Crumpler), from a shitty offense to begin with, go. As for the receivers, Roddy White showed flashes of talent last year, but. . .you know what, I don't want to talk about this anymore, it's making me sick.
The Fuck Were You Thinking???: Listen, I like Arthur Blank, I really do. He's a fantastic business man, and seems to be one of the genuinely nice guys in The League from everything I've heard about him. Oh yeah, and he has a sweet mustache. That said, it seems that this guy doesn't have the first fucking clue about football, and every one of his "business instincts" that took him to the top have mired him deeper in shit in the NFL. First, he built his franchise around Michael Vick. I guess that seemed like a good idea at the time, but eventually you have to open your fucking eyes! It became pretty clear a few years back that this guy had major character issues, and with all the shit swirling around something was going to stick. Next was Petrino, again, it probably seemed like a good move at the time, but it would probably only take about 15 minutes of research to realize that this clown has no integrity. . .or personality. Then to replace him, he brings in a guy in Mike Smith who has never had a head coaching job, at any level. Not really a recipe for success. Oh, and then in the draft they took a quarterback who'll never be anything more than a very average pro. He was probably the best of this class coming out of college, but that's like being the tallest midget. Think Alex Smith a few years back. Who didn't see that coming? What he should have done is addressed any other position this year (they all needed it) with a pick like Glenn Dorsey, and addressed quarterback next year. . .with Tim Tebow and the first overall pick.
2008 Outlook: I don't see a game on their schedule that I feel confident that they will win. They will be the worst team in the league this year, and the only reason I'm giving them 3 wins is because what Miami did last year will be very tough to duplicate.
Record: 3-13
Division: 4th
Playoffs: Bitch Please
Tomorrow: The Baltimore Ravens
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