Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Let Me Clear My Throat!

Clearly, these are words that Ex-UCLA assistant coach Denny Crum has never uttered. His voice on the radio is atrocious. Apparently, though, his appearance is too repulsive for television. That is, however, until 5:32 the morning of July 18th. That is the exact time and date where Denny's disgusting appearance and God-awful voice tragically crossed paths--he sang in a Fischer's bologna commercial. The commercial in itself was "Safe Auto-esque," as the faux-conversation was awkward and the filming was awful at best. But when it came time for the tagline at the end, Denny stood and began singing uncomfortably as the ad came to a close. The entire commercial really gave you the feeling of "wow, Denny's really hit the shits." But the end really iced it all. It is an absolute must see. Watch local programming constantly for the next week.

ESPN will not give in. They will do anything to force us to watch "Who's Now." What now? How about Doug Heffernan and Jessica Biel joining the panel. Two people who I could not care less about seeing early in the morning...on Sportscenter. Follow up: why is Kevin James always wearing Nike athletic gear? Does he think that makes him look in shape? It doesn't. It makes him look fat and pathetic. Speaking of pathetic, guess who raps the them to the shitty segment? If you guessed TI, you're what's wrong with this country. In the rap, he says something along the lines of "Sportscenter's poppin', everything is stoppin'."

Unfortunately, because of these chumps, Sportscenter is no longer "poppin'." If ESPN isn't careful, they will turn in to MTV and sell out to douchebag teens. Just as it's not about the music on MTV, it's starting to seem like it's not about the highlights on Sportscenter. Don't make me watch Fox Sports Final Score, because I will. As long as Karl Ravech doesn't molest his hair-dresser, BBTN will suffice.

Speaking of highlights, no need to wait till September for the UK-UL football game highlights, a couple of dickwads on www.insidetheville.com have already played it on Playstation. Apparently, according to "Casual Wood,"the UK running back gets lit up pretty good. So I guess we shouldn't run the ball or else this spontaneous boner-popper may give Rafael Little a nice donkey punch.

Also, Jaxcard, I am very disappointed that you watched the linked video AND responded.

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