Adventures in Dork-dom

I feel that I am completely safe in assuming that tonight, while at the newest Harry Potter movie, that it was the first and last time anyone wore plaid shorts and Sperry's to a movie about magic and spells. I don't know who is the bigger chump; me or the droves of weirdos who showed up for this movie dressed like wizards (for most of those losers that will be their only contact with a wizard's sleeve). Burned! Without giving away too much, I would be remiss if I didn't mention some of the major points in the film. Spoiler Alert!

• Harry Potter is a gigantic douche. He says the cheesiest shit and cries like a little bitch in this movie.
• Harry Potter is a gigantc pussy. At one point he makes out with this hot little Asian bird, but when she comes back for round two, he gives her the cold shoulder like he's Bond or something. Later, he kinda hits on this blonde chick but she's pretty broke. He really blew it.
• British people have annoying accents and ugly faces. That's it.
• The dorks in the theater suck. For some reason, dorks laugh at EVERYTHING. Here is an actual excerpt that tickled the shit out of the dweebs:

Ugly Chick: "Do you ever stop eating?"

Super ugly dude: "What? I'm hungry."

Uproarious laughter with a smattering of applause. I understand that people laugh in movie theater's. That's OK. Dork laughter, however, is a different animal. Either it's the rapid breathing and slurping of spit or they simply scream the word HA! in brisk succession. Whichever method is chosen by the square, I always feel like they are getting snot everywhere.

In all honesty, the movie wasn't that horrible. I couldn't really follow it because we had popcorn, but there were some pretty crazy wizard/magic fights!

Sport's tomorrow...nothing happened. The Cubs won. Zambrano may have been a little more accurate than once thought with his predictions at the beginning of the season...