Pitino & Gillispie. Separated at birth?

Mired in the angst that has been a very disappointing stretch for our Cats, an eerie truth has presented itself that must be examined further: The Cardfather (gayest nickname ever, slightly beating out Mavis) and Clyde are bizzaro versions of each other.

In the beginning...

Pitino:
Arrived from New York a slick talking carpetbagger who made us all swoon when he proclaimed that "Kentucky basketball tickets will be the most valuable things on Earth." A mere taste of the incessant barrage of hyperbole that spews from Rick to this day.
Gillispie:
Arrived from Texas a slack jawed yokel of a man who made us all swoon when he tricked…er… convinced Pat Patterson to come to UK by promising him 145 shots a game.

Their predacessors:

Pitino's:
A classy man who took the program to greatness, was underappreciated late in his term and was effectively forced out the door.
Gillispie's:
Same.

Lovelife:

Pitino:
Coeds at UK, Patti Swope, a blow up doll of himself.
Gillispie:
Coeds at UK, Janine Edwards, some pregnant chick with a lazy eye working the Hardees drive-thru in Nicholasville.

Post game interviews:

Pitino:
if HE won: "Well I told Edgar that he needed to transfer if he didn't start playing defense so I am a motivational genius."
THEY lost: "I told them that Notre Dame would be ready to play but they just didn't listen to me. George Goode and Terrance Jennings are too dumb to learn the offense."
Gillispie:
Cats win: "I've never had a guy like Galloway play so well in a game and so bad in practice, we gotta get tougher and show more leadership"
the current trend: "If I hadn't played that one guy (the thinest of thinly veiled jabs at PSteve) in the 2nd half against LSU we would've won. A.J., Stevenson and Harrelson have to help Patterson, and we gotta get tougher and show more leadership."

The admen:

Pitino:
Berates Rally's employees, chills with Laetner and parties in his undies with Bob Knight and Coach K.
Gillispie:
Somehow makes Krogers creepy and thinks its ok to tell ME not to drink and drive.

The attire:

Pitino:
Regarded as one of the best dressed coaches in the country, sleeps in Armani and recently wore a all white suit to celebrate white-out.
Gillispie:
Owns a suit, sleeps in whatever he passed out in and may have worn a white hood at some point to celebrate a "white-out."

Questionable personnel moves:

Pitino:
Allows Edgar Sosa to live.
Gillispie:
Allowed Mike Porter to dribble against Devan Downey.

Unearned reputation:

Pitino:
Every recruit he signs says that "Coach P. knows how to get me to the pros," a secret that he has only shared with Fran Garcia in the past 10 years. Good luck kids.
Gillispie:
Credited as recruiting genius before setting foot in Lexington. He had been at UTEP 2 years and A&M 3 years and recruited virtually none of his contributing players while coaching at each stop. Fingers crossed.

Legacy at UK:

Pitino:
Was generally a dick, but who cares because final fours are fun.
Gillispie:
Is a dick, which is a big problem until he gets to a final four. Please God, let him do something good soon.

Fatal Flaws:

Pitino:
Has never stopped talking and contradicts himself constantly. Thought it was mean to impede the vision of Grant Hill. Is undoubtedly king of the douches.
Gillispie:
Won't play zone. Thinks timeouts and adjustments are for sissies. Thinks he could coach up a sock to play lock down d on Kobe.