'The Cutman' Has Got to be the Biggest Loser In the Universe

Remember when world-renowned investigative journalist Alan Cutler--of 1530 The Homer (it's the NYT of radio networks)--awkwardly chased the recently fired UK coach down a hallway? You do, it was everywhere. Now The Cutman, as he is affectionately called by his fat loser friends on his softball team, wants to set the record straight:

As far as the video, that has been linked all over, about me chasing Billy G., I was just doing my job as an aggressive reporter. I was trying to get a comment about getting fired. That's what reporters do.

I'm getting ripped all over for doing that.

What I find interesting is how most of us have watched TV newscasts. When a mic is stuck in a parents face after some terrible accident, there is no outcry of hate to that reporter for talking to that parent like what I'm now experiencing.

Stare at your computer monitor for the next 50 seconds, please. Soak up the tiny processed code, and allow the stupidest fucking thing you've ever read marinate within your brain. Have you punched a child yet?

Let's recap.

As far as the video, that has been linked all over, about me chasing Billy G., I was just doing my job as an aggressive reporter. I was trying to get a comment about getting fired. That's what reporters do.

I'm getting ripped all over for doing that.

Yes, reporters do try and get comments from subjects. He's absolutely right about that. Unfortunately, apparently, there is a thin line between what he refers to as an "aggressive reporter" and a "total jackass." He, like every local radio personality ever, fits the mold of the latter.

What I find interesting is how most of us have watched TV newscasts. When a mic is stuck in a parents face after some terrible accident, there is no outcry of hate to that reporter for talking to that parent like what I'm now experiencing.

I know I say this a lot, but this is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. It really is. First of all, a coaching change and a parent enduring a "terrible accident" are not at all parallel. I think we can all agree on that.

And while what you say in your misguided, made-up scenario is true, that meddling reporter doesn't usually chase the parent into their office. I guess only the great ones do that.

Stop pretending that you are this hard-hitting, quote-at-all-costs reporter and admit what you really are: a complete douche. Is there anything more annoying then someone, especially someone in the media, whining about negative attention? Think of all the shitty things you've no doubt said about people on your show (I've never heard it. Maybe he's referred to as the only benevolent sports radio host in the business.). And don't feed us this "I was just doing my job" horse shit. The only person who's job it is to be a complete ass-face all the time is Kenny Powers. And he need not an assistant (it's true, Stevie). You did this because you wanted all this attention; so stop whining like a bitch now that you've gotten it.

You're on Deadspin; God knows that's all I've ever wanted.

And if you needed more of a reason to dislike this Bernstein: