I feel like being an asshole. Here's a list of the UL skill players on offense, as well as some others, and what we now know about them.
Hunter Cantwell: A generally shitty, overhyped quarterback with a great arm. Unfortunately, three years of speculation and hype came to a boil yesterday, and he completely shit the bed. Although he only played in a couple of games under Petrino, he benefitted most from that system. Should've gone pro last year...seriously.
He does, however, have time to turn it around and not look so pathetically terrible. I have faith in him, especially since his receivers suck so much ass.
Bilal Powell: A generally shitty, overhyped running back with great speed. Had a good game last year against...someone, and was christened the answer to the Cards' running game. Unfortunately, for UL fans, he runs like a total bitch. Kind of like Rafael Little, without the talent.
Peter Nochta: You know, this guy was not that fucking awful. He sucked, to be sure, but I expected "awful" to "fucking God-awful" for sure with this guy. I think he had a few catches. Slower than shit, though.
Doug Beaumont: UL's best offensive skill player, and that includes everyone's favorite "noodler." Fast, elsusive, and pretty much one of the few guys playing like he had a pair on UL's offense, Beaumont made almost every catch that he had to--even those in traffic.
Chris Vaughn: Holy fucking non-existent. This guy blows.
Brock Bolen: Worst starting running back in 1-A? Maybe. Either him or Tony Dixon. Anyway, seriously....seriously. Please, for the love of football, make him your douch-ey, change of pace back. I mean, he's a pretty weak bruiser.
Troy Pascley: Literally had a TD pass hit his numbers. I've seen grade school players with better hands.
Vic Anderson: If he is not UL's feature back this season, I'd be surprised. He ran hard, he didn't fear the defense like Powell did, and he can make people miss. Also looks pretty solid catching the ball out of the backfield.
Josh Chichester: Apparently, this chief is like 12 feet tall--and pretty darn good. He may end up having a big year for the Cards.
Eric Wood: Slower than Myron Pryor. He's also unable to block Myron Pryor.
Chris Philpott: Laughably bad at kicking. Missed the dog shit out of his only field goal attempt. You will sweat on extra points, Cards, if you losers ever get into the endzone.
Cory Goettsche: Meh. Actually, kind of shitty.
Cards D: Actually, very solid. UK's offense clearly needs work, and they were trying to keep things simple, but UL's D is pretty good. They had guys in the right places, which is a vast improvement from last year. The D-line is especially solid. The Heymans a good.
Ron English: Can't be his real name. Also, he can't count.
Jeff Brohm: The Cards' offensive genius and savior! Well, he turned out to be a major flop and a failure in game one. If this trend continues, it will show why hirings and firings should not be controlled by a loud, whiny fan base.
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2 comments:
That will leave a mark. As if walking around in the 120 degree heat for 10 hours today didn't suck enough, reading about how sucky UL is now (thanks Krags) was icing on the cake. I can't disagree with what you wrote though.
I will say this though, UK is in for a crappy year as well. If that offense couldn't score against UL how the fuck are they going to score against anyone in the SEC. And while UK ran it conservative offensively, it was still 10-2 in the 4th (i think that's right). Joker ran it conservative because Hartline is a terrible QB. At least Hartline doesn't through the ball 900 mph though.
Evan remind me to kick you in the nuts when i get back.
xoxo,
Train
Although we were not good on offense, if we can beat the next three cupcakes, a woefully shitty Arkansas team, and get by Vandy, we go to a bowl...in Shreveport! Not to mention that South Carolina and Mississippi State are winnable swing games.
Train, the Pizza Box, although not Middle East hot, was pretty fuckin' close.
Jed
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