Knowing I am an Indiana fan and went to school in Kentucky, a friend of mine in South Carolina sent me the below Facebook message today.
HG's Friend: If I take a girl from UK to dinner tonight, can we still be friends?? Need a response before 7.
Through my time in Kentucky, I decided I may be able to help this friend out in preparing for this date, and I wanted to share my response with the faithful readers of this blog.
HG: If she is attractive and has ALL of her teeth, then yes I can let that slide...Is this girl from Kentucky?
If so, a few things to think about:
1. If she is from Lexington or another horse town (Versailles, Bourbon County, Winchester), she may need to be wined and dined. Some rich young ladies in those parts.
2. She may be impressed if you drink bourbon, but do not fake it too much and throw up, my past history indicates she will probably not be impressed by that. Woodford Reserve and Makers Mark are good options.
3. If she is from anywhere else, specifically Pikeville, Paintsville, or Harlan, she will probably be happy with working electricity and maybe some Golden Corral and Moonshine.
4. Ask her if she knows Joe Conley and has any good stories about him. I have $100 on the answer being yes to both questions.
5. Make sure you have paper towels and Band-Aids available in case she "Bleeds Blue" all over your car or apartment.
6. If the night proceeds into bedroom-related events, ask her if you are the first person she will ever sleep with who is not related to her.
7. Finally, tell her you have a friend in the area who went to Centre College, and ask her if she has any hot friends.
This may prove irrelevant if she just went to school at UK from somewhere more civilized in the country, but you can never be too prepared.
If any of you have any other pointers for my good friend, please share in the comments section.
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